1 Girdles Don't Lie They Just Redistribute The Truth
2 Keep Your Nails Clean And You Won't Have A Dirty Hammer 3 Things Always Look Greener In The Other Guy's Wallet 4 Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella If You Like To Gargle Snow 5 A Good Day's Work Never Hurt Anyone And Neither Did A Good Day's Rest 6 When Things Look Black Send Them To The Laundry 7 Don't Take A Bath In The Front Room You Might Leave Ring Around The Walls 8 Don't Kiss A Girl Under The Mistletoe It's More Fun Kissing Her Under The Nose 9 People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Dress In The Basement 10 It's Always Easier To Control Your Temper When The Other Guy Is Bigger 11 It's Better To Give Than Receive Especially If It's A Punch In The Mouth 12 Don't Tell Anybody That You Have False Teeth Unless It Comes Out In A Conversation 13 Don't Bite Your Nails They're For Hanging Up Things 14 Look For The Silver Lining And You'll Have The Most Expensive Jacket In Town 15 The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach But Don't Let A Doctor Know This 16 If Your Girl Swears She's Never Been Kissed She Has A Right To Swear 17 Don't Bite Your Nails Especially If You're A Carpenter 18 If You Can't Brush After Every Meal Comb 19 Love Your Enemies Boy Will It Confuse Them 20 Don't Feed Lemons To Your Cat Or You'll Have A Sour Puss 21 Do A Good Turn Every Day Even If It Makes You Dizzy 22 The World Is Your Oyster But The Pearl Belongs To The Guy Next Door 23 Never Kick A Man When He's Down Unless You're A Professional Wrestler 24 Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk There's Enough Water In It Already 25 Don't Let Grass Grow Under Your Feet It Tickles 26 Be True To Your Teeth And They Won't Be False To You 27 Don't Play With Daddy's Pipe He Doesn't Smoke Your Toys 28 If Your Rug Wears Out Don't Get A New One Have The Soles Of Your Feet Carpeted 29 Blood Is Thicker Than Water So Is Toothpaste 30 Before You Hang Your Clothes Make Sure They Get A Fair Trial 31 Show Me A Baby With Fever And I'll Show You A Hotsy Totsy 32 If Your Date Won't Kiss You In A Canoe Paddle Her Back 33 Show Me A Pineapple That Plays The Trumpet And I'll Show You A Tutti Fruitti 34 The Best Things In Life Are Free If You've Got The Right Box Top 35 If Your Wife Wants To Learn How To Drive Don't Stand In Her Way 36 Keep Your Chin Up It'll Keep The Milk From Dripping On Your Clothes 37 Don't Bite Your Nails Or Your Stomach Will Need A Manicure 38 Show Me A Beatnik Bird That Sings And I'll Show You A Hairy Canary 39 There's Only One Disadvantage In Arriving On Time There's Nobody There To Appreciate It 40 If You Want To Be The Center Of Attention Ask For Catsup In A Chinese Restaurant 41 If You Brush Your Teeth Twice A Year See Your Dentist Every Day 42 Never Talk About A Butter Knife You Know How Those Things Spread 43 If Your Biscuits Look Pink Maybe You're Cruller Blind 44 If You Get The Key To The City Make Sure You Check All The Locks And The Bagels Too 45 Don't Spill Food On The Floor It Might Give The Termites Indigestion 46 Don't Drop Out Of School Especially If You're On The Third Floor 47 Don't Play In The Street You Might Get That Run Down Feeling 48 Watch Your Weight Or You'll Have More Chins Than A Chinese Phone Book 49 If You Want To Create A Big Stir Build Yourself A Prison 50 Don't Spread Rumors At The Laundromat Unless You're Willing To Come Clean 51 Where There's A Will There Are Relatives 52 Don't Kiss Your Girl While She's Brushing Her Teeth You'll Get A Paste In Your Mouth 53 Cross The Street With The Light If You Can Rip It Out Of The Pavement 54 Exercise Keeps The Germs Away If You Can Get Them To Do Pushups You're In 55 If You Get Tied Up On The Phone Get Someone To Cut You Loose 56 People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Invite Sophia Loren Over The Week-End 57 He Who Laughs Last Usually Sits In The Last Row In The Balcony 58 Here's A Sure Way To Keep Your Bills Down Use A Heavier Paperweight 59 He Who Hesitates Gets Bumped From The Rear 60 Girls Who Eat Sweets Take Up Two Seats 61 Many A True Word Has Been Spoken Through False Teeth 62 If You Try To Pull The Wool Over Someone's Eyes Don't Use The Wrong Yarn 63 Music Soothes The Savage Beast If A Lion Breaks Into Your House Turn Up Your Record Player 64 DonÆt Talk About Carousels You Know How Those Things Get Around 65 Early To Bed And Early To Rise And You Won't Have Red In The Whites Of Your Eyes 66 It's Easy To Get Kids To Look Up To You Just Walk In And Turn Off The Tv Set |
OBC: A Tradition of Excellence since 1991
Old Baseball Cards (OBC), copyright © 1991 -
Unauthorized use of the material contained
on this page is strictly prohibited.